Running Toward Her

 

I used to run just to get away

Feet moving faster than my thoughts

Every mile a kind of relief

Every road just another exit

But this time is different

I am not running from anything
I am running toward her
Toward my sister
Toward something steady and real

And that is where the anxiety lives

Because I want to be there now
Not tomorrow
Not after one more delay
Not after one more thing goes wrong

Now

But the road will not bend to that
The hours stretch
The waiting sits heavy in my chest
Every delay feels like something slipping
Like time is working against me

My mind starts racing
Telling me to move
To fix it
To push harder
To get there faster

But I cannot

So I sit in it
This strange feeling
Of wanting something good
So badly
That even time feels like an obstacle

I have never felt this before

Running away was easier
It never mattered when I arrived
Or where I ended up
As long as I kept going

But this
This matters

She is there
And I am here
And the space between us
Feels louder with every delay

Still

I am going

Even if it takes longer
Even if I have to sit in this feeling
Even if every mile comes slower than I want

Because for the first time
I am not trying to escape

I am trying to get home